Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Prayers and Praises


Okay...so time for a 'semi-update'

I just got back from Thanksgiving break and it was soooo much fun...too short but so much fun. I got to see lots of people, and yes...I even did some shopping.
On Thanksgiving, my Grandma decided to give me my birthday present early which was....the COMPLETE set of Harry Potter (British versions). *bounces around* I'm so excited. The cover art on the books is gorgeous! (Yes, I'm a nerd...and I'm okay with that).

It's back to the 'grindstone' for now. Two and a half weeks and I'm DONE with the semester. It doesn't really seem like it'll get here, but I know God will see me through.
Let's see, update on academics:
I'm doing pretty well in the majority of my classes. I just got my grade up to this point in my Modern and Contemporary Drama class and I've got a 95 average. *grin* I still have a big presentation and a final to go in that class so...can't slack off.
Um, I think I've got either a high B or an A in most of my other classes also, so that's fun. It's been a streeeeessssssful semester, but it's almost done.

This week in the life:
I've got my presentation on Thursday
Also on Th. I'm starting my job as a tutor for two kids, a fifth grader needing help in English and a sixth grader needing help in Math. (yeah yeah...I know, me a math tutor...please save the snickers...)
Um, I have a meeting on Wednesday for another job I'm doing...it's a one weekend acting job which should be pretty fun.
Friday...nothing too exciting
Saturday is my roommate's sister's wedding plus Madrigals! I'll be dressed up the entire day haha.
Sunday...again nothing to exciting.

Classes end next Wednesday and then comes reading days...cleaning day...job(s)...finals...and then HOME! My birthday is also coming up soon...fifteen days to be exact. :-)

Okay, now on to the prayer requests:
1. I'm really tired of school and I need that extra push in order to do well in these last couple weeks.
2. My neck has been hurting for about three weeks now, and I've been to the chiropractor but that didn't help much so...those who know me, know I'm SUCH a worrier about stuff like this, and my mind is racing with different things that could be wrong with me, and that's NO way to live so if you would just please pray that I give all the worry up to God and not dwell on this that'd be awesome. :-)

That's about all I suppose. I hope everyone is having a wonderful day!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


So I discovered this song and I fell in love with it. No, it doesn't describe my mood or anything but...the lyrics are so beautiful I couldn't resist. :-)

"And now the purple dusk of twilight time
Steals across the meadows of my heart
High up in the sky the little stars climb
Always reminding me that were apart

You wander down the lane and far away
Leaving me a song that will not die
Love is now the stardust of yesterday
The music of the years gone by

Sometimes I wonder why I spend
The lonely night dreaming of a song
The melody haunts my reverie
And I am once again with you
When our love was new
And each kiss an inspiration

But that was long ago
Now my consolation
Is in the stardust of a song

Beside a garden wall
When stars are bright
You are in my arms
The nightingale tells his fairy tale
A paradise where roses bloom
Though I dream in vain
In my heart it will remain
My stardust melody
The memory of loves refrain"

Yeah...I really like that song now...
Anyway, real update later. :-)

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


Long time no write eh? I'm sorry about that. I really haven't felt much like blogging to be honest, but since someone *coughStefcough* said she would write a blog about how I haven't blogged I figured I'd better update.

Let's see...the safe thing to do would be to stick to two topics: The weather and every body's health. (A cookie to anyone who can tell me what movie that line is from).

I'm not exactly a 'safe' type of person, but I will say that the weather on the mountain is absolutely spectacular today and that as far as health goes, if you're not feeling well, then back into bed with you...and better take a thick book cause it gets kinda boring lying in the dark.

Okay, now that those topics are exhausted, I will now move into dangerous territory.
I'm going to talk about love.
Yes...you heard me.
No this won't be gushy.
No I'm not going into a rant about castles or fairy tales.
Okay, happy? Ahem...let's begin:

I'm sure many of you know that there are different types of love. You don't love your mom like you love your fish...or dog, cat, hamster...etc. You don't love your favorite shirt like you love your best friend, and you don't love your 'significant other' [spouse or otherwise] like you love ice cream (least I hope not...it'd be bad to confuse those two...amusing...but bad).

Aside from these distinctions...our culture has blown the idea of 'love' completely out of focus. I don't believe in love at first sight, although I do think that you can see someone constantly and then one day get whacked upside the head by feelings you didn't know existed, but if that's a type of love...I don't know.

Love has been smeared.

Men manipulate women and call it 'love.' "Oh, but baby I love you. Come on, if I didn't I wouldn't want to share this with you."
Right. love. Hm...no...

Women use love as a weapon..."If you really 'loved' me you'd change. You'd be what I need. You say you love me...prove it."
Is that love?
Better hope not.

Love, true, honest, pure Love is a sacrifice. Look at our example. The King of Heaven brought Himself so low that people spat on him, tortured Him, mutilated Him, and He took it...for what? Agape.
Never ending, never changing...L-O-V-E.

I'm not saying that other kinds of love are horrible or insignificant, but they all need to looked at through the lens of Agape Love.
haha, now I'm not saying that in order to say "i love ice cream" (can you tell I'm hungry?) that you need to be all "okay, hmm...well if I say I love ice cream but I don't sacrifice for it...something is wrong..." hehe, I mean unless you really want to run that seven miles before diving into that bowl of moose tracks...but otherwise...not so much.

C.S. Lewis described love as a giving of one's heart. I like that. In order to give though, you have to actually have something to give. You can't give love while wrapped up in self pity or self loathing, or self....period...in order to be able to love another person, romantically or not...you have to give of yourself.
I'll be honest, that is really scary...what if you give and then the other person lets you down? Welcome to life. We'll all fail each other at one time or another, but Agape Love doesn't quit...
I'm not saying to be stupid. There are certain things and people that should not have your heart, but if something is worth fighting for, worth the risk...then take the risk. Don't stand back afraid to leap because you're not sure if you'll hit cotton or jagged rock.

There will be pain, but without the pain the reward would be useless. You've got to keep trying, got to keep fighting...because He fought for you...you in turn need to fight.

It's about time we stopped focusing on our own pain and let ourselves give to others...

Okay, now that I've completely confused everyone, I'll shut up.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want
He makes me to lie down in green pastures
He leads me beside the still waters
He restores my soul.

~from Psalm 23

Out of earth’s sorrows into Thy balm,
Out of life’s storms and into Thy calm,
Out of distress into jubilant psalm,
Jesus, I come to Thee.

~Jesus I come

..."And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
~Philippians 4:7

Something that has been on my mind lately is the subject of peace. Those of you who know me know I can get worried very easily. Well in the past couple of weeks I've been seeing some of the effects that has been having on my body and my spirit. I crave the ability to be at rest and at peace...
I feel like I've lost what spark I had. I feel stripped of my joy and my love for others. I am desperate to once again feel truly alive in Christ.

"My souls years for You in the night. My spirit within me earnestly seeks you."
~Isaiah 26:9

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Standing On The Edge

It's pretty insane how things change so quickly.

This past summer has been the source of joy, pain, of giving, taking, losing, gaining...

Life is crazy, mixed up and so unpredictable. Right now, I'm torn whether to laugh or cry because of that realization. I cannot control things. I cannot know the future, I don't know if the way my life is today will be the same until tomorrow. Our lives are fragile, that is what I learned this summer.

"I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a vapor in the wind, still You hear me when I'm calling. Lord You catch me when I'm falling and You told me who I am...
I am Yours."

I feel the call to let go and free fall into life. I can feel the tugging of my heartstrings towards the adventure of living. I cannot ignore this, and yet fear has me bound to comfort, to security.
My Jesus can break these chains, He hold the key. All I have to do is say the word and I'm free but I am a selfish person. I am afraid. I am unsure of the future...I do not want to fail miserably. I want to make the right decisions, I want to live the "right" way.
This could be my downfall.
I will not let fear overtake me.
I cannot be okay with being "comfortable."
I will NOT be settled into a corner with the sheets over my head.

I see through a faded glass. I know true beauty, true life waits...I catch glimpses of it in others...a flicker of invisible gold radiating in the smiles of those who have been set free.
I long for that
I ache for that
I hate being captured in a prison of my own making.

I don't want to hold back
I want to know, and be known.
I want to take a chance, a gamble
I want to experience the deep joy
And the wrenching pain that life entails

I am afraid
But I am not crippled by fear

I will not let my fears ruin what God has brought to me. I am ready to fight...

set me free.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Ah Ha!

So I'm sure if I'm totally out of the 'slump' for writing, but I did start on something the other day...and I kinda like it so far. Well, I like my main character so far, not really sure what to do with him yet, but...hopefully I'll think of something. He deserves a cool story.


This week is the week for appointments. I've got to see an MD this morning about my back, then going to get my hair done this afternoon, then on Friday morning I've got to see the chiropractor, again, about my back lol. Should be interesting.

I leave a week from today. I have a mix of emotions like always. I do want to get back into a routine, have a schedule and all that jazz. Yeah I'm a nerd, but at least I'm proud in my nerdiness. On the flip side, it's always hard for me to leave, especially after summer break.
Ah well...such is the life of a college student hehe.

I think that's about all for now.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Disgruntled writer in search of something to bring her out of slump...no ordinary characters please.

Note to self, next time don't name a blog "Writer's Block" it'll rub off.

I've been in a slump lately for writing. I did my Terebinth project and it's been kinda downhill since then. I get in these every now and again, and usually something pretty cool or very silly comes out of it when I finally drag myself out of the "I can't think" wallow.

Well, I'm starting to come out of the slump I believe... and the result is, I hope a combination of the very silly and the pretty cool. It kinda hit me the other day as I was driving...

Anyway, I might post some of the results of my 'getting out of slump' on here. We'll see.

That's about all for now.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Poetry Time!

This is one of my favorite poems. Don't ask me why because I honestly don't know. I read it in Heritage during my junior year I believe and it has stuck with me ever since.


Miniver Cheevy
By: Edwin Arlington Robinson

Miniver Cheevy, child of scorn,
Grew lean while he assailed the seasons
He wept that he was ever born,
And he had reasons.

Miniver loved the days of old
When swords were bright and steeds were prancing;
The vision of a warrior bold
Would send him dancing.

Miniver sighed for what was not,
And dreamed, and rested from his labors;
He dreamed of Thebes and Camelot,
And Priam's neighbors.

Miniver mourned the ripe renown
That made so many a name so fragrant;
He mourned Romance, now on the town,
And Art, a vagrant.

Miniver loved the Medici,
Albeit he had never seen one;
He would have sinned incessantly
Could he have been one.

Miniver cursed the commonplace
And eyed a khaki suit with loathing:
He missed the medieval grace
Of iron clothing.

Miniver scorned the gold he sought,
But sore annoyed was he without it;
Miniver thought, and thought, and thought,
And thought about it.

Miniver Cheevy, born too late,
Scratched his head and kept on thinking;
Miniver coughed, and called it fate,
And kept on drinking.

Like I said, no idea why I like that so much.
Ah well...maybe next blog I'll post something I've written...maybe...hehe

Monday, August 11, 2008

Music and Lyrics

No I'm not going to talk about the movie, and no I'm not going to get into instrumental music verses lyrical music, but I was thinking today just how potent music can be. I mean, the English major in me will never get over the fact that I believe books can draw people together in an amazing way, but there is no denying that special something in music that can strike something deep in the human soul.

It's incredible really. Music is such a large part of our culture, that sometimes I think we take it for granted. It's always playing, it's always there, people constantly have songs stuck in their heads etc. I mean for crying out loud, about every other blog I post has lyrics of some sort in them hehe.

I heard a song yesterday that I hadn't heard in a few months and I realized how revelant it was to me earlier this summer and how God had used that period to make me grow. It was cool to be able to look back over the past couple months and see some of what He was up to in my life without my knowledge.

That's about all I wanted to say...but true to fashion I am going to leave you with some lyrics to ponder:

I’ve been hearing voices
Telling me that I could
Never be what I wanna be.
They’re binding me with lies,
Haunting me at night,
And saying there’s nothing to believe.
Somewhere in the quietness,
When I’m overcome with loneliness,
I hear You call my name.
And like a father
You are near
And as I listen I can hear You say

You are a child of mine
Born of my own design
And you bear the heart of life
No matter where you go
Oh you will always know
You have been made free in Christ.
You are a child of Mine.

And so I listen as You tell me who I am
And who it is I’m gonna be.
And I hang on every word,
Knowing I have heard
I am Yours and I am free
But when I am alone at night
That is when I hear the lie
You’ll never be enough
And though I’m giving into fear
If I listen I can hear You say:

You are a child of mine
Born of my own design
And you bear the heart of life
No matter where you go
Oh you will always know
You have been made free in Christ

You are a child of mine

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Update time!

This post is going to include some random updates about life. If you are one of those people who doesn't like to read semi-boring facts about another person, then this post probably isn't for you. Continue on at your own risk ;-)

For the rest of you:

Read on...

Summer has gone by so quickly this year! I can't believe I have just one short month before I go back to school.
School. That is a different matter entirely.
For one, I'm really excited that my roommate Amy is able to come back, but I'm pretty dang upset that one of my best friends isn't going to be able to come back, and that another one of my good friends won't be living on campus for the fall semester...although, that one could be useful...because I can always raid his house for Sunday dinner *innocent grin*
As far as academics go, it's going to be a pretty intense semester. I'm taking two four credit classes, and I'm also co president of the drama club, plus co head of the costume department.
I don't like to keep myself busy...no...not at all.
Of course, I need to make time in all of that to continue writing. I recently finished up a project which I'm pretty happy with, but it is now time to get back into my novel. I'm both excited and terrified about that hehe.

Okay, so about summer...because really, I don't want to think about school too much at this point.
I'm not sure who all reads this, but most of you probably know that I have trouble with migraines. They had gone away, but this summer they have returned with a vengeance. Now, I've done a couple of things to help them, such as cutting waaaaaaaaay back on chocolate, and barely drinking any caffeine, but...I need to start taking some vitamins...and honestly, I don't like doing that. Now you may be saying "but Alysha, it'll help you" and I would have to agree that yes they probably would...I just...I'm not good with keeping up with things...guess this is one of those "I need discipline" moments hehe. Yeah, prayer for discipline would be very much appreciated. :-)

Hmm...well, I'm off on a trip to Croatia this Friday! I'll be gone for nine days with no Internet or phone which will be interesting hehe.

A couple more things that I've learned this summer...God's sovereignty is astounding. I was reading over my "Letters to God" journal, and a couple months ago, I wrote about something that was weighing me down, and it was so cool to see how much He had been working in that short amount of time, even when I couldn't see it.
Another thing, how so very valuable the people around me are. I'm so thankful for the people God has brought into my life and the different roles they play. I've been supported and encouraged so much and I can't express the joy that has brought me.

So anyway, there you have it...a rather long update about life. Hope it wasn't too boring for you.


Saturday, July 26, 2008

The Pigeon

A friend of mine and I discovered this children's book series written by Mo Willems. The series features a rather precocious pigeon who finds himself continuously thwarted by the 'authority figure' in his life. It's one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time...but then again, I do have a rather wacky sense of humor. The above picture is my favorite in the series.

That's about all for now. Yeah it was short...there might be a longer one tomorrow. :-)

Thursday, July 24, 2008

The Winding Road...

Two in two days...aren't you excited? ;-)
Okay so today's is two parts. First of all some verses that were on my mind today and second some of the lyrics to a song a friend of mine wrote.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 37:4

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

"I will never leave you nor forsake you."
Joshua 1:5b

"But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:31

"Be still and know that I am God."
Psalm 46:10a

"And the peace of God which trancends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Phillippians 4:7

"My Jesus, I surrender all to you. My Savior, I'm living my life for you. And in my weakness I find you are Strong, and in my life Lord, you are, the only one, who is worthy of all love and honor, glory power and praise.
You are the light in the darkness, joy over sadness, love of my life. And Lord you are my life and I will lift my voice and say, Jesus you are..."

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Be Thou My Vision

yeah, so I should be asleep right now, but I remembered that earlier in the day I wanted to post something, so here tis. In our weekly prayer time up at the church, we sang one of my favorite songs. The lyrics are simple but they, in my opinion reflect a giant amount of faith. :-)

Blessed be your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where the streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in,
Still I will say...
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be your name
Blessed be the name of the LordBlessed be your glorious name

Blessed be your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out,
I turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in,
Still I will say...

(Repeat Chorus)

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Blessed be your name!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Time After Time

I need a change. I know some of the steps that need to be taken...thing is, I'm not really sure I'm ready to commit to making the changes necessary. I know I need to, but I've let things slip for some time and I'm not sure how to go about getting stuff sorted out.

It's time to rediscover life. Pure, radient, abundant life.


Wednesday, July 9, 2008


Please do not think I'm a man hater after reading this cause I'm not...I just need to get some stuff out and a blog seems like this is the perfect place to vent...so here we go.


I am sick and tired of guys being lazy. Yes I said it...LAZY! I'm not talking about the whole guy sitting on the couch watching a football game, yelling for someone to bring him a drink lazy (although that gets under my skin too). I'm talking about guys not stepping it up when it comes to relationships.

Oh stop groaning. Recently, a very dear friend of mine went out on a limb and admitted having feelings for a guy, to his face...now without going into all the details surrounding her decision to confess that, just know that I believe she did the right thing. She wasn't doing it to ask him out or to 'take charge' in the situation, but to tell him how hard it was for her to be around him and his girlfriend. This guy was a good friend of hers. He took it in stride and things seemed okay. He agreed to not hang out with her and his girlfriend at the same time...
WELL...apparently his attention span lasted a total of eight hours because tonight he wanted to bring his girlfriend over to hang out with our group. BAD IDEA! I mean seriously, how insensitive can you be?
Now, I realize that this does not include all guys, and honestly I don't hate men and I don't think all of them are lazy, or whatnot, but this reaaaaaaaaaaaaalllly burned me. This is not the first time something like this has happened either.

Anyway, that combined with some other stuff has made me really not happy with the male population as of right now...
I mean seriously, I'm beginning to think that the world is populated with toads...and I'm sorry I'm not kissing my way through them to find Prince Charming.
He's gonna have to get off his tush, find his white horse and start galloping towards the castle.

Okay, I'm done now...back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Monday, July 7, 2008


So...two songs for you today. Both by the same artist. The first is one that really helped me get through some personal stuff, the second...is, in my opinion one of the most awesome 'couple' songs...well...married couple...not dating...but anyway here we go:

Treasure Of You:
Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice
That heartsick look in your eyes
You hide it very well, but I've got the same disguise
I know from all you see around you
You feel worth a very small price
So plain and ordinary, but there's a pearl inside

And if you look in the mirror in the light of the truth
You'll see there's really nothing you could say or do
To make you worth more to the One who made you.

You are a treasure
Worth more than anything under the sun or the moon
God's greatest treasureIs the treasure of you

The rich man treasures gold and silver
The wise man, his knowledge of truth
Some will hold to memories and some will cling to youth
But the one who carved out the oceans

And painted the stars in the sky
You are His prized creation, the apple of His eye
There's no one else in the world
Who could take your place
Just the thought of you brings a smile to His face
God loves you with amazing grace

So take a look in the mirror in the light of the truth
Oh, yes it's true
See there's nothing more you can say or do
God loves the way He created you...
-- Steven Curtis Chapman

I Will Be Here
Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I...I will be hereIf in the dark we lose sight of love
Hold my hand and have no fear'
Cause I...I will be here

I will be here...
When you feel like bein' quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winnin' andlosin' and tryin'
We'll be together'
Cause I will be here

Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I...I'll be here
Just as sure as seasons
are made for change
Our lifetimes are made for years
I...I will be here

I will be here....
You can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold youAnd I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all thethings you are to me
I will be here

I will be true
To the promise I have made
To you and to the
One who gave you to me
I...I will be here
And just as sure as seasons are made for change
Our lifetimes are made for years'
Cause I...I will be here....
We'll be together'
Cause I will be here

--Steven Curtis Chapman

Friday, July 4, 2008

Amazing Grace...

"How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now I'm found,
Was blind but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come.
'Twas grace that brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home.

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Then when we first begun."

I watched the movie Amazing Grace today for the first time, and while the caliber of the movie was in itself pretty high, and the acting amazing...the story was simply breathtaking.
The story struck me because...at the beginning the 'hero' was trying to decide whether he needed to work for Parliament or for God. He was encouraged that he could accomplish both. That hit me...because...you can be working for God and still make an impact on the world by means of government...or of art. Yes, you knew it would come back to art.
Sometimes I wonder if a career in the arts is really what I'm supposed to do. Is it really serving God in the right way...but seeing that movie really encouraged me. God has given me a passion for the arts and a passion for reaching people...and I know He will show me how to weld those two together.

"...my chains are gone...I've been set free!"

Sunday, June 29, 2008



The last week has been very thought provoking to say the least. I feel like...I have more clarity than ever before, and yet I'm still as confused as ever. I've got all these thoughts playing bumper cars inside my head and let me tell you, that doesn't bode well for someone prone to migraines.

I'm currently working on a writing project for Terebinth (if you don't know what that is ask me) and I decided about a month ago that I would do a series of ten pieces on the theme of Transformation. These will include several short stories, some informal poetry and some formal poetry. I'm currently half done and I like what I've got so far...but...and this is where it gets interesting...I had no idea that *I* would be put through a 'transformation' of sorts myself.

Now, I'm not talking about a physical transformation, although if I somehow sprang up a few inches I wouldn't complain hehe. I'm talking about a transformation of the heart. I've been holding onto some things that I shouldn't be, and I know I need to let go, but the truth is that I'm scared stiff to actually release those issues.

Fear is a horrible thing that grabs onto you and pulls you under the currant so you're not sure if what you're breathing is really life sustaining or slowly drowning you...

Yeah, I think too much at times...
Ah well, the journey is waiting, all I have to do is let go and free fall.
Eeek! Well, here goes.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Through The Looking Glass

You know sometimes how you 'know' something but there comes a time when that 'something' really takes hold of you? I had one of those moments about a week ago and I wanted to write it down...or...type as the case may be.

I went to a wedding last weekend, and something really struck me...I was driving, and...well I can't remember if it was before the wedding or after it, I think it was before, anyway, so there I was in the car listening to my 'sappy songs' play list (yeah I know, but honestly, considering my personality, there wasn't much else I could listen to on a day of a wedding) and I was thinking about life, love, fairy tales, dreams...that sort of thing...and one song really hit me...it was called Measure of a Man...and the lyrics of the chorus are:

"Will he walk on water?
Will he run through the fire?
Will he stand before you when it's down to the wire?
Will he give his life up to be all he can?
Is that, is that, is that
How you measure a man?"

Admittedly not the most brilliant lyrics ever, but as I was listening to them, I was struck by a moment of wishing that I did have something like that, that fairy tale...rescue the damsel thing.
Moment of truth here:
I am a very independent person. (Yeah yeah, hold the shocked gasps for later please) and it's hard for me to admit when I need help, but I am a girl, and a hopeless romantic, and there is a large part of me that really wants to be rescued. I've been told that's normal so I'm not too worried about it. I mean, it's great to 'fight back' or to win a battle on your own, but it's so exciting to have someone fight for you. Fight with you...yeah. I've always said that I don't want to be the helpless maiden, but neither do I want to be the 'warrior princess' type. I want to fight, but I also want to be fought for...anyway, that's more than you needed to know about my life, back to the story:

All of that was going through my head at a speed that would make Superman jealous, and then...as clear as anything, the words "I've done that" echoed through my brain. It was like the world stopped spinning for a moment. I couldn't think, I couldn't really breathe (which while driving isn't the best thing ever...haha). Hot tears ran down my face and a burst of pure joy sprang out. I starting laughing, and crying all at the same time...it...was one of the most wonderful experiences I've had.

I do have Someone who has gone through the fires of hell to rescue my soul, to cherish my heart, to fight for me and with me. He has me...He loves me, and He will continue to win battles over me. I never felt so loved as I did at that moment.

Anyway, all that to say, don't give up dreaming...and you know, fairy tales have more substance than we give them credit for sometimes...and...you...yes you...are loved so much more than you could ever imagine, and when you're in the midst of a battle and you feel like you're alone, you're not. He's fighting...as fierce as a lion...He's fighting...and winning!

Well. Yeah I'm done for now.

Sunday, June 15, 2008


I'm so tired...
Soul weary
Heart wrenching

Jesus be my strength.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Talking Helps...

Yesterday I got to spend time with one of my friends who I haven't been able to really see since school has been out. It was one of the best days I've had in a long time. Mostly, we talked...that's right...talked and talked, for about five hours actually. It was absolutely wonderful to be able to do that with her.

It was there, that I noticed and she agreed with me that I've changed over the past couple years. I mean I know I have, but it's another thing entirely to have someone tell you so. Things are getting better, and even she said she noticed the difference in my attitude and that was so wonderful. I admire her strength and extraordinary personality so much and it was great to hear from her, what she saw. :-)

So anyway, all that to say...talking through things helps. Yes, Stefanie, if you read this one you have full right to say 'I told you so' hehe. Things are changing, people are changing, and there are times when it's going to hurt to open yourself up by loving someone, whether it be a family member, a friend, or a romantic kind of love. It hurts. People will leave, they will change, but the cool thing is, that for how long or short of a time you have with them, they will leave a mark on your life.

That's one thing that I'm praying about this summer, that I will leave the right kind of mark on people. It's so easy to get wrapped up in how you 'feel' that you totally miss the wonderful oppertunities and people around you. I don't want to miss it...I want to grab onto life with both hands and count each moment a blessing.

The battle is raging, the storm is howling, but here...in the arms of my Savior, I can find the strength to fight, and the peace to endure, and the love to withstand the pain.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

As Time Goes By...

I was watching a movie today, one of those 'Golden Age of Hollywood' musicals with Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly, and it was simply incredible to watch them lighting up the screen. Movies aren't made like that anymore, and although I know some of you are silently (or not so silently) thankful about that, I can't help but feel a bit let down. Sure we have musicals today, and some of them are really wonderful, but...the atmosphere of those movies is something I'm not sure we will ever be able to capture again.

Yes I know the quality of acting isn't all that wonderful at times. Yes I realize that the plot lines are unrealistic, and the dialogue/gags of the films a bit over the top cheesy, but the spirit of pure fascination with life itself that comes through is, to me, astounding.

I think one of the reasons i like these movies so much is because of the time period. World War II was ending, and people were disillusioned. This happened more so after the first World War, and was seen particularly through literature, but during and after the second, movies like the one I talked about at the beginning of the blog came out, and helped to, at least for a couple hours take people's minds off their troubles.
They didn't' erase the pain, but the bright colors, extraordinary dancing and singing, uplifting score and all around cheerful atmosphere made these movies treasures in people's lives and hearts.
I'm not saying that all film should be escapist, it shouldn't. But I think that these films served a wonderful purpose for their time period, and they're great fun to watch even now, least for me. I have a soft spot for them if you couldn't tell, and I dunno...felt like being nastalgic for a bit.

That's all for now...

Saturday, May 24, 2008

When Words Fail...

I've been trying to post a blog for about two weeks now, and each time I'm at a loss for words. Weird huh? The chatter box unable to express what she wants to say.
This post is one of those sentimental ones that I warned about in my first post hehe. I've got so many things to say and yet I can't find the right way to say them, so I'm going to use some lyrics to help me...

"Leave it alone, don't analyze
'Cause love can be your lullaby
But love can be your hurricane too
And love can take your breath away
But love can leave you lonely and blue
Oh, what's a heart to do?
Oh, what's a heart to do?

Why be afraid
No reason to hide
Take the chance
Put it all on the line
Draw in a deep breath and throw open the door
'Cause that's what a heart is beating for
Yeah, that's what a heart is beating for
Beating for, beating for..."
-- Chris Rice

I've been hearing voices
Telling me that I could
Never be what I wanna be
They’re binding me with lies
Haunting me at night
And say, there’s nothing to believe
Somewhere in the quietness
When I’m overcome with loneliness
I hear You call my name
Like a father,
You are near
As I listen,
I can hear You say

You are a child of Mine
Born of My own design
And you bear the heart of life
No matter where you go
Oh, you will always know
You have been made free in Christ
You are a child of Mine..."
--Mark Schultz

"...Under a lavender moon
So many thoughts consume me
Who dimmed that glowing light
That once burned so bright in me
Is this a radical phase
A problematical age
That keeps me running
From all that I used to be?

Is there a way to return
Is there a way to unlearn
That carnal knowledge
That's chipping away at my soul
I've been gone too long
Will I ever find my way home?"
--Michael W. Smith

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
And the sun does not appear,
I will be here.
If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand and have no fear,
‘Cause I will be here.

I will be here when you feel like being quiet;
When you need to speak your mind,
I will listen.
And I will be here when the laughter turns to crying;
Through the winning, losing, and trying, we’ll be together,
‘Cause I will be here..."
--Steven Curtis Chapman

It's been a hard year
But I'm climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle B

But every day it's Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember

And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars and more like Character..."
--Sara Groves

Those are only a sampling of things that have been tumbling around in my head. To say I'm confused would be putting it lightly. To say that I'm in a bit of a struggle would undermine the battle raging...
I know part of what's going on, and let me say...I've always enjoyed a challenge...so, I suppose the only thing I can do is face the wind and fight my way through to the other side!

"On Jordan's stormy banks I stand
And cast a wistful eye
To Canaan's fair and happy land
Where my possessions lie.

I am bound
For the Promised Land."

"Oh to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be.
Let thy grace now like fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here's my heart O take and seal it,
Seal it for They court's above."

This is the great adventure!

Monday, May 5, 2008

Never a book too thick or pot of tea too deep...

Since my last post was predominantly about movies, I thought I'd make the leap and write about one of my other passions...books!
The title of the blog is a paraphrase of a quote by C.S. Lewis when speaking of how he enjoyed reading.

It's amazing how the right story will transport you deeper into your imagination than you ever thought you could venture. The written word opens up new dimensions of our character and reveals to us more about ourselves and our situations than would be possible otherwise.

Most people who know me will testify that I am a complete bookworm! My taste in books is as eclectic as my taste in music or movies, but one genre that I return to most often is that of fantasy. I absolutely love diving into a story that takes you out of the realm of human possibility and into a sphere beyond limitation. There are still rules in this new world, but they so depart from the formal laws of our world that they hardly seem to need the distinction of a 'rule.' Stories of this kind, when done well, take the reader outside himself, and that is one of the things that draws me in when reading a 'fantasy.'

Biographies are another type of genre that I absolutely love to read. I don't know why but they've always fascinated me. Autobiographies are really neat also, and I honestly don't know which I prefer...each has its advantages and disadvantages. :-)

Classics...oh yes I do love classics...Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, Alexander Dumas, Baroness Orczy, Charlotte Bronte, J.M. Barrie...are a few of the authors on my "favorites" list for classic writing.

Being a good writer for me begins with being an avid reader. The more quality literature one consumes the more an author will be able to learn from the masters and find his or her own voice in writing.

Well, now that I've gone on for a bit, I will take my leave...I think I hear a book calling...

Saturday, April 26, 2008

"I'm gonna get out of the car and drop you like third period french!"

I'm officially DOOOONNNNEEE with Sophomore year! *bounces around*
Whew, I can't believe it's finally over. Now I just have to wait in anticipation for my profs to put my grades online so I can see how I did. I'm actually kinda nervous about one class in particular, but as for the rest of them, I honestly don't know. *gulp* I'm heading home tomorrow afternoon, and I'm so ready to get back!

Summer is almost here...and I hope to get several larger projects under way...we'll see how that goes.

So yeah, I watched Ocean's 11 last night, and my blog title is one of my favorite lines. Actually, that movie in general is full of amazing dialogue, and the chemistry between the cast is absolutely wonderful. It's definitely in my top favorite movies of all time list. It's one of those movies I can usually watch at any point and time, French Kiss being another one...You've Got Mail...Transformers, National Treasure...and Emperor's New Groove are among others that also have that "watch any time" quality for me.

I find it very interesting to know what people's favorite movies are...it reveals so much about the person, both as an individual and as part of our current culture. What's even more fun is when you find someone whose favorite movie is also yours and the two of you can spend an obscene amount of time talking about it and getting strange looks from those around you. Ah...good times.
It's also fascinating to see what kinds of people tend to flock together to watch movies. Most everyone has that one person or small group of people with whom they LOVE to watch things. You've got your talkers, your "be quiet after credits or die" crowd...the "if we've seen it before then sure we'll talk" group, and the ever popular "your popcorn crunching is ruining the mood" person who wants solitude but ventures into a packed theater and expects everyone to have a sort of reverence for whatever movie is about to be watched.

I, myself, tend to drift between the general 'talker' and the talk if you've seen the movie before depending on who I am with at the time. I can be quiet...but for some reason, I talk to movies...don't ask me why...it both amuses and frightens my roommate at times. I've come to accept that as a personality quirk in myself, and hopefully I won't marry the "be quiet or die" guys because that would make the theater scenes in You've Got Mail and How to Lose A Guy In 10 Days look like a peaceful afternoon in a hammock. I can just see myself sitting there with tape over my mouth or him sitting there with headphones plugged into the TV while I watch him in irritation.
Wow can I ramble...

Anyway, I would do something fun like ask you to list your favorite movie or what type of "movie person" you are, but I don't think anyone reads this, so I shall just end here. :-)

Monday, April 14, 2008

Searing Love

I cried out when Your touch ripped open the wounds
Surrounding my heart.
I lay there my hurt exposed
Desperate to numb myself again

You spoke words of peace to my shattered world
But in my misery they only succeeded to tear me apart
I did not realize my agony was Yours

I could not feel the tears You wept
As You drug the claws from my soul
I fought You every moment I could
But You never left my side

When I tried to run
I fell among thorns
I felt the sting as I hit the ground
Silently screaming
I longed to suffocate in my self pity

Oh the pain of searing love
The burning fire of redemption
I never had a will to see
The piercing knife of refinement

I could only see my lost desire
I cut myself from You again
And built a foundation worthless as clay

You charged in and struck it down
I felt myself falling
Wrapping my arms around my body
Longing for this to end, I cried out to You…

I was not lost to the dark
You caught me in Your arms
And I finally opened my heart

Oh the pain of searing love
You tear away my idols
Your touch brings healing
To my blood stained soul
But the scars haven’t faded

Alysha -- 2008

Friday, April 11, 2008

The Winds of Change...

...And I'm still alive!

These past couple of weeks have been absolutely insane. I've been doing tests and papers plus going through Tech Week for One Acts up here at school. Whew...

Opening night for the show was last night, however; and it went very well for an opening. The audience was small but very responsive and supportive so that was encouraging. I can't wait to get back out there again for the final three performances.

I've also been doing a great deal of pondering lately. I've said that God has been doing some stuff in my life...and that's been good, hard but definitely needed. He's drawing my heart back to Him and I'm so thankful for that. He's also helped me to loosen up quite a bit about certain issues. It's still hard, and I'm still having some trouble about letting Him handle things, but it's getting better. As the song says:
"I'm not who I was when I took my first step...I'll walk through the fire if you want me to."

On a different note:
My SIP (Senior Integration Project) has been APPROVED! Now you might be thinking "senior? But you're not even out of sophomore year, isn't that a bit early?"
Actually...no...hehe. I'm planning on doing a joint SIP with one of my friends who is a music major up here, and my idea involves me writing an adaptation for the stage...and those of you who know me and my writing habits...know that I have to start this early if it's going to be finished in time without causing me undue amounts of stress. I'm really excited about it though, and I'm looking forward to working on it this summer.

Hmm... speaking of summer...less than three weeks and I'll be home! I can't believe this semester is almost over...and that I'll be a junior in college...it's pretty crazy...but in a good way.

So I'm going to do something new this time, and I'm not sure if I'll keep doing it...because I'm not really sure anyone reads this...but I'm going to recommend some things to you:

Movie of the week:
Dan in Real Life - Comedy/Drama starring Steve Carell. It's a great story with a fantastic cast.

Musician(s): Chris Rice, and Plumb. Both wonderfully talented on the lyric aspect of things.

Well I think that's about all for now...

Monday, March 31, 2008

Raindrops on Roses

...and whiskers on kittens. Bright copper kettles and worm woollen mittens. Brown paper packages tied up with strings, these are a few of my favorite things."

"Hello Dolly, well Hello Dolly..."

"Ding ding ding went the trolley, ring ring ring went the bell, sing sing sing went my heartstrings, when he smiled I could feel the car shake."

"Bye, bye Birdie. Ta ta old sweetie pie. Bye Bye Birdie...time for me to fly!"

"Come on with the rain I've a smile on my face! I'll walk down the lane with a happy refrain, just singing, singing in the rain!."

"I could have danced all night. I could have danced all night, and still have begged for more. I could have spread my wings, and done a thousand things, I've never done before..."

"His royal highness, Christopher Rupert son of his majesty King Maximilian...is giving a BALL."

Some of my favorite numbers from musicals gone by are represented above. The lyrics in themselves are not profound, they don't have anything of deep significance to say, but...for some reason, those songs can pull me from a funk like nothing else. Maybe it's the cheery tunes, or the knowledge that at the end of the movie the guy will have the girl and there will be a fantastic display of color, dancing and grander that will encompass the finale. I dunno really...I just really like musicals.

I'm taking a study break at the moment. I've got a test in the morning...eeek. I hope it goes well.
I don't really have much to say at the moment, except to ask for some prayer from whoever reads this. God is continuing to pull me through some stuff, and it's not easy nor fun, but I know it's for the best. He has a plan. :-)

Anyway, that's about all for now...

Monday, March 24, 2008

Of Cabbages and Kings

"and why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings..."
No I'm not going to expound on all things Lewis Carroll, I just happen to really enjoy that part of the poem.
I do have a question though. Why pigs. Why not some other sort of land ridden creature. You always hear people saying "when pigs fly" or something of that equivilant. Why does no one go around saying "when a lemer grows wings" or "when wombats fly" and what is it that's so wonderful about the flight thing? Yes, flying in itself would be absolutely amazing, but really...what about something like "when jelly fish sprout legs" or something like that?
Yes I'm curious...and a dork. I've accepted this.

Now for a different topic:

I'd like to talk about the weather.
No really, I'm serious.
Stop looking at me like that...

The weather has been absolutely gorgeous the past few days, and then suddenly...BAM cold front! It's like spring was here, and in fact the season is, but you'd never know it by today. I mean, seriously...the flowers are going to get all confused.
Flowers really are gullible. Take my mom's daffodils for instance. They bloom at the first hint of warm weather then are struck down by the cold front that hadn't left but was just lying in wait to see if it could smite any unsuspecting reminders of spring. Cold is vicious sometimes.
Don't get me wrong, I love the cold...but I was just getting used to the sun again...ah well. Maybe the daffodils and I have something in common, except I don't think the cold will smite me.

In closing...I'd like to leave you with some lyrics to one of my new favorite songs.


Built a fortress
With a hundred thousand faces
I'll keep it safe
With a hundred thousand more
But these masks are wearing thin
As You draw me in.

I spent my time
On the empty and the fleeting
I spent my life
On much less than I'd dreamed
But I'm reaching out to you
To make me new

'Cause I am just a beggar here at Your door
I am just a shipwreck here on Your shore
I come empty handed
Ready to see
Your life in me changing who I've been
To who I need to be

You tell me my story
As You sift between the pages
I feel redemption
In the space between each turn
Could You take me in Your arms
And tell it just once more
Could You take me in Your arms
And tell it just once more

--Starfield: Beauty in the Broken

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

On A Day Like This...

Today I woke up at about 7:10.
"Alysha, we thought you weren't a morning person!"

I'm not.

I was awake for two reasons. One because my slot for pre-registration opened up at 7:30 and I was determined to register at exactly that time so that I could get a class at the time I wanted...
Sitting at the computer anxious to know if I was able to beat the rush and claim one of the last 2 spots available: heart pounding, mind racing...

Ok that was a bit much...note to self: skip dramatic suspense element when no actual 'drama' is involved.

Ahem. Back to the story.

See the situation was this: If I got the time spot I wanted I would have a class from 12:00-12:50. Not the best time ever, but workable. I would still get lunch so that was cool. If I did not get the spot I wanted, I would be doing a night class from 7-8:15pm. Not fun.
I don't hate night classes, but by that time, my attention span is pretty much shot.

The second reason was that I had a test today in Doctrine II. This normally wouldn't be so bad, except that I hadn't really studied as much as I needed to. I didn't just not study, but in all honesty, I did not feel well prepared for the test. I decided I'd get some more time in after the whole classes thing was settled.
Now, you may be surprised at my lack of studying...so was I. I have been in a slump as of late. I don't want to work on things, I just want school to be over. This is a bad position to be in normally but especially now. I only have about five-six weeks left of school and this is the time when professors cram papers and tests and projects into the schedule. Sometimes, I think it's to see which one of them can make you cry first, but hey I could be wrong. ;-)

Yeah, so I didn't get too much more studying in before the test, but it is now over...and no I don't know how I did. I don't think I did horribly, but I'm honestly not sure what kind of grade I'll get. We'll see.
Well it's time for me to eat lunch...so I'm off.
P.S. Yes, I did get the 12-12:50 spot. :-)

Sunday, March 16, 2008


Palm Sunday.
A day where we celebrate the entrance of our Lord into Jerusalem. I don't know about any of you, but to me, Palm Sunday brings mixed emotions. I love the fact that Easter is so near, but if you think about it, today marks an occasion that happens right before the greatest suffering in history. It is good to celebrate, but we should also remember that before redemption comes the fire. Just a thought.

In church this morning, there were several ideas that were discussed in relation to Palm Sunday. One was that when the King comes, there should be a proper response from the people.
That response should be joyful, spontaneous, and filled with adoration. I'll be the first to admit that I've fallen into passivity. I've fallen into spiritual stoicism.
I know that being 'happy' and being 'joyful' are two very different things, but until our response to Christ has been turned around and pointed in the right direction, both the joy and the happiness that are found in Him will escape us.
Psalm 63: 2-5 talks about David's hunger for God. We need to have that hunger today. Far too often I 'snack' on the things of this world, when I could be full in Christ:

"I'm playing game boy standing in the middle of the Grand Canyon.
I'm eating candy sitting at a gourmet feast.
I'm wadding in a puddle when I should be swimming in the ocean.
Tell me, what's the deal with me?"

Another thing...I have a book of daily readings from the works of C.S. Lewis, and today's smacked me upside the head, here is a section of it...

Concerning Our Arithmetic --
We all want progress. But progress means getting nearer to the place where you want to be. And if you've taken a wrong turning, then to go forward does not get you any nearer. If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man.
We have all seen this when doing arithmetic. When I have started a sum the wrong way, the sooner I admit it and go back and start again, the faster I shall get on. There is nothing progressive about being pig headed and refusing to admit a mistake.
--from Mere Christianity

Wow. The service this morning, and this reading combined to whack me upside the head with something that has been long in coming:
Let go. Turn around. Come home.

Those three messages combined with the two already in my heart:

Be Open. Be Patient...

have thrown me into a whirlwind.
I've been wandering around the same issues for a long time now. Struggling with the same insecurities, hopes, dreams, situations...and I'm tired.
I know I've been guilty of twisting situations in my head. I've been so caught up in what I thought I needed, what I thought He was going to do in my life, that I've been missing reality.
I've been fighting for the wrong thing.
It's a strange feeling, I mean...I know the messages on my heart, but I have no idea how to incorporate them.
The only thing I can really do...is let go...turn around...and begin my journey.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Here Comes the Sun...

This morning I rolled out of bed at 9:20. The significance? I have class at 9:30. Interesting start to my day to say the least. I will say that I was in class before it started, dressed and coherent. Horrah...yeah...I don't like getting up that late, and it usually throws me off most of the day, but today has been absolutely incredible.
After class I went to the gym. I debated going back to my room first to grab my hat which I had forgotten in my earlier haste, but I knew if I went back I'd never make it back to the gym, so I went on without it. I have a weird attachment to wearing that hat when I workout. It's nothing really that special, just a red baseball cap I got from a store at the mall one time, but for some reason it's the only one of my caps that fits me really well. Weird I know. Anyway...I was the only one there for about twenty minutes. I love it when that happens. I don't mind other people in there, it's just a neat feeling when you're the only one.

Seems like I was recovering by being a bit productive right? Well, lest you have too much faith in me...there should be something known. I love spring weather, and today was one of the most beautiful days all year so far, and I could absolutely not make myself go inside and work on homework. I instead, sat in the grass outside with a group of my friends and relaxed and talked until my next class. Productive? No. Socially affirming? Absolutely.
I did get a sunburn on six inches of my left arm, so I suppose justice has been served.

Monday, March 10, 2008


I'm sitting here at my computer desperately trying to make myself work on a screenplay that is supposed to be finished in about a week and a half. I do want to work on it, and I'm excited about my story, the problem is that right next to the desk, sitting in all their glory, are about thirteen movies that I'm borrowing that I really want to watch. Now, the age old question flutters through my consciousness...should I work on the screenplay and be rewarded with a sense of accomplishment, or should I watch one of the movies and hope that I will have time later to work on the screenplay.
Procrastination. An ugly disease that afflicts the strongest of souls. Even people with the best intentions succumb to its alluring qualities. Why do something now...when you can brush it off for a more amusing option and end up pressed for time later wondering why you didn't just do the silly thing in the first place. Quite the scene...
Logic: Well, I could do the screenplay now, I had already planned on doing it tonight. Just work on it for a little while and then you can watch a movie.
Opposing View: Ah, sheesh...forget about the screenplay for tonight. You've had a full day and you worked on it a little bit earlier. Watch a movie. It'll be fine.
Logic: I need to be productive. I should work on the screenplay
Opposing View: Come ON. How much could you really get done in an hour or two?
Logic: Enough...

And on this goes for who knows how long. At this point, if you are wondering if I am schizophrenic, then answer is no. I'm...well...something...hopefully amusing at the very least.
What will I do you may wonder...will I follow logic, or fall into the trap of procrastination...
The answer...
I have no idea....and yes I am aware that by writing all of this I have procrastinated the procrastination...
Yeah, I'm talented.

Saturday, March 8, 2008


I've always liked trees. Ever since I was a kid, trees for some reason held special interest to me. I used to climb a willow tree that we had in our yard, and I'd torture my dolls by tossing them up as high as they could go into the tree and hoping they'd get stuck so that the 'prince' or 'male doll' would have to save them (This would be accomplished by my throwing the aforementioned doll up into the tree and whacking the already stuck 'princess' out of the tree where the two would fall in harmony to the ground. On the occasion that they both became captured in the clutches of the tree, my dad would be outside with a ladder patiently trying to pry the toys from the high dungeon I'd created). I didn't have an overactive imagination at all. Neither did I love fairy tales...oh no...

It's been years since I've thrown anything up into a tree, but I've been struck as of late with how truly beautiful they are. I was driving down the road today and I noticed all these bare trees scraping the brilliant blue sky and my heart felt like it was going to explode from pure awe. The shape of the gnarled branches reaching for the great expanse was breathtaking. It was like hundreds of arms stretched high, searching for more than their present condition would allow.

Sometimes I feel like one of those trees. Reaching...calling...into the unknown. I feel like I'm calling for answers to questions I haven't even asked. Sometimes, however; I feel like one of the dolls caught in the tree. Unable to get myself out of a situation, having to wait patiently for Someone to come and pry me loose.

At the moment I identify with both doll and tree. I feel as if I'm reaching as far as I can, but still stuck in a prison (partly of my own making). I'm waiting, but I'm searching in my wait and I hope I never stop grasping for the answers.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Hello dear void...

I hate to disappoint anyone who believed that a blog titled "Writer's Block" would be full of disgruntled attempts at emo poetry or failed tries at an award winning novel. Also I would like to throw out there that the only reason I have this blog is so I can unashamedly fill a corner of the web with my ramblings. There will be some posts where if I have any male readers notions of a 'hormonal female' will certainly grace their thoughts, but I'm not one to cater to the idea that women cannot show emotion. That was for the days of King Henry VIII and look where that attitude got him...hmmm...
Anyway. This is what comes from watching too many period films in a three day span.
I'm not really sure what to write about at the moment.
I just wanted to say "hello dear void" (a cookie to anyone who knows that quote)

That's all for now,
Maybe my blog title is more pertinent than I originally thought...