Friday, May 30, 2008

Talking Helps...

Yesterday I got to spend time with one of my friends who I haven't been able to really see since school has been out. It was one of the best days I've had in a long time. Mostly, we talked...that's right...talked and talked, for about five hours actually. It was absolutely wonderful to be able to do that with her.

It was there, that I noticed and she agreed with me that I've changed over the past couple years. I mean I know I have, but it's another thing entirely to have someone tell you so. Things are getting better, and even she said she noticed the difference in my attitude and that was so wonderful. I admire her strength and extraordinary personality so much and it was great to hear from her, what she saw. :-)

So anyway, all that to say...talking through things helps. Yes, Stefanie, if you read this one you have full right to say 'I told you so' hehe. Things are changing, people are changing, and there are times when it's going to hurt to open yourself up by loving someone, whether it be a family member, a friend, or a romantic kind of love. It hurts. People will leave, they will change, but the cool thing is, that for how long or short of a time you have with them, they will leave a mark on your life.

That's one thing that I'm praying about this summer, that I will leave the right kind of mark on people. It's so easy to get wrapped up in how you 'feel' that you totally miss the wonderful oppertunities and people around you. I don't want to miss it...I want to grab onto life with both hands and count each moment a blessing.

The battle is raging, the storm is howling, but the arms of my Savior, I can find the strength to fight, and the peace to endure, and the love to withstand the pain.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

As Time Goes By...

I was watching a movie today, one of those 'Golden Age of Hollywood' musicals with Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly, and it was simply incredible to watch them lighting up the screen. Movies aren't made like that anymore, and although I know some of you are silently (or not so silently) thankful about that, I can't help but feel a bit let down. Sure we have musicals today, and some of them are really wonderful, but...the atmosphere of those movies is something I'm not sure we will ever be able to capture again.

Yes I know the quality of acting isn't all that wonderful at times. Yes I realize that the plot lines are unrealistic, and the dialogue/gags of the films a bit over the top cheesy, but the spirit of pure fascination with life itself that comes through is, to me, astounding.

I think one of the reasons i like these movies so much is because of the time period. World War II was ending, and people were disillusioned. This happened more so after the first World War, and was seen particularly through literature, but during and after the second, movies like the one I talked about at the beginning of the blog came out, and helped to, at least for a couple hours take people's minds off their troubles.
They didn't' erase the pain, but the bright colors, extraordinary dancing and singing, uplifting score and all around cheerful atmosphere made these movies treasures in people's lives and hearts.
I'm not saying that all film should be escapist, it shouldn't. But I think that these films served a wonderful purpose for their time period, and they're great fun to watch even now, least for me. I have a soft spot for them if you couldn't tell, and I dunno...felt like being nastalgic for a bit.

That's all for now...

Saturday, May 24, 2008

When Words Fail...

I've been trying to post a blog for about two weeks now, and each time I'm at a loss for words. Weird huh? The chatter box unable to express what she wants to say.
This post is one of those sentimental ones that I warned about in my first post hehe. I've got so many things to say and yet I can't find the right way to say them, so I'm going to use some lyrics to help me...

"Leave it alone, don't analyze
'Cause love can be your lullaby
But love can be your hurricane too
And love can take your breath away
But love can leave you lonely and blue
Oh, what's a heart to do?
Oh, what's a heart to do?

Why be afraid
No reason to hide
Take the chance
Put it all on the line
Draw in a deep breath and throw open the door
'Cause that's what a heart is beating for
Yeah, that's what a heart is beating for
Beating for, beating for..."
-- Chris Rice

I've been hearing voices
Telling me that I could
Never be what I wanna be
They’re binding me with lies
Haunting me at night
And say, there’s nothing to believe
Somewhere in the quietness
When I’m overcome with loneliness
I hear You call my name
Like a father,
You are near
As I listen,
I can hear You say

You are a child of Mine
Born of My own design
And you bear the heart of life
No matter where you go
Oh, you will always know
You have been made free in Christ
You are a child of Mine..."
--Mark Schultz

"...Under a lavender moon
So many thoughts consume me
Who dimmed that glowing light
That once burned so bright in me
Is this a radical phase
A problematical age
That keeps me running
From all that I used to be?

Is there a way to return
Is there a way to unlearn
That carnal knowledge
That's chipping away at my soul
I've been gone too long
Will I ever find my way home?"
--Michael W. Smith

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
And the sun does not appear,
I will be here.
If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand and have no fear,
‘Cause I will be here.

I will be here when you feel like being quiet;
When you need to speak your mind,
I will listen.
And I will be here when the laughter turns to crying;
Through the winning, losing, and trying, we’ll be together,
‘Cause I will be here..."
--Steven Curtis Chapman

It's been a hard year
But I'm climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle B

But every day it's Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember

And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars and more like Character..."
--Sara Groves

Those are only a sampling of things that have been tumbling around in my head. To say I'm confused would be putting it lightly. To say that I'm in a bit of a struggle would undermine the battle raging...
I know part of what's going on, and let me say...I've always enjoyed a, I suppose the only thing I can do is face the wind and fight my way through to the other side!

"On Jordan's stormy banks I stand
And cast a wistful eye
To Canaan's fair and happy land
Where my possessions lie.

I am bound
For the Promised Land."

"Oh to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be.
Let thy grace now like fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here's my heart O take and seal it,
Seal it for They court's above."

This is the great adventure!

Monday, May 5, 2008

Never a book too thick or pot of tea too deep...

Since my last post was predominantly about movies, I thought I'd make the leap and write about one of my other passions...books!
The title of the blog is a paraphrase of a quote by C.S. Lewis when speaking of how he enjoyed reading.

It's amazing how the right story will transport you deeper into your imagination than you ever thought you could venture. The written word opens up new dimensions of our character and reveals to us more about ourselves and our situations than would be possible otherwise.

Most people who know me will testify that I am a complete bookworm! My taste in books is as eclectic as my taste in music or movies, but one genre that I return to most often is that of fantasy. I absolutely love diving into a story that takes you out of the realm of human possibility and into a sphere beyond limitation. There are still rules in this new world, but they so depart from the formal laws of our world that they hardly seem to need the distinction of a 'rule.' Stories of this kind, when done well, take the reader outside himself, and that is one of the things that draws me in when reading a 'fantasy.'

Biographies are another type of genre that I absolutely love to read. I don't know why but they've always fascinated me. Autobiographies are really neat also, and I honestly don't know which I prefer...each has its advantages and disadvantages. :-)

Classics...oh yes I do love classics...Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, Alexander Dumas, Baroness Orczy, Charlotte Bronte, J.M. Barrie...are a few of the authors on my "favorites" list for classic writing.

Being a good writer for me begins with being an avid reader. The more quality literature one consumes the more an author will be able to learn from the masters and find his or her own voice in writing.

Well, now that I've gone on for a bit, I will take my leave...I think I hear a book calling...