Monday, May 25, 2009

Well...I'm back.

I thought I'd post's been so long hehe.

I've gone through so much in the past couple months that I'm not going to try and re-cap things, but know...I got out of school with good grades thanks to the grace of God :-)

I've decided to stop running away from stop...hiding from what He wants to say to me and do in my life. I've let my own self pull me away from God and I can't have that anymore. I need Him now more than ever and...I want to trust Him...I do...I just...its...difficult for me to simply let go and let Him lead. I don't know what to do from day to day about stuff. One day I'm fine and the next day I'm back down again. I know this will fade in time but I'm sick of it. But...I'm not losing hope. I do know as soon as I let Him, God will romance my soul and will lead me back to Him.

It's a big issue with me. I didn't realize that until...well until I had someone in my life that I really needed to trust more than anyone else before. I realized just how painful trust is for me...and especially how little I really do *trust* people...and even God. That was an awakening realization. I thought I trusted God...and I did...but I always figured that what I trusted Him about would work out the way I thought it would...and when it didn't...instead of thanking Him and accepting the blessing, I immeditally thought it was a trap and that He wanted me out of the situation and so I ran from Him. Now...I want to stop running...but hehe it's hard to just sit and wait.

I'm not a patient anyone who knows me will tell you, but I think I'm supposed to be learning trust...and patience through this. Fun. haha :-)

Anyway, that's all for now. I've been having the feeling that I want to draw for a couple days now so I'm going to go sketch something. Not sure what...but...maybe if I like it enough I'll scan it on here. We will see.

Oh, and Happy Memorial Day!