...And...I say Farewell...

Hey everyone!

So, I don't really update this often so I decided that I would kinda stop using it for now. I'm not sure if anyone still reads this but...I thought I'd let you know.

I *am* starting a video journal/blog thing...some serious, some not...and I might make a new site with those on it. If you would like the address to that site please contact me over facebook/email or through a comment on here.

Thanks everyone!

Wish I could eat chocolate...

So...

All of the wondering, the fighting, the hurting each other...it's over now. I'm not sorry...I'm not sorry to have dated a wonderful guy this past year. I'm not sorry to have fallen in love...and I'm not sorry to be in this pain right now. And I'm not giving up hope...hope that we can be friends...hope that if it is God's will we will eventually be able to come back together...but right now I need my SAVIOR in my life. I need my JESUS. We both need HIM. I pray for the both of us and I ask that you all pray too. There are two really hurting people right now...hurting people who need the healing power of their LORD CHRIST.

I need You ABBA FATHER.

Amen.

What A Heart Is Beating For...

Well...

If someone told me about a month ago that asking God to teach me about love would shake things up in my life so much, would I have done it? I'm not sure. But...the thing is, that although things might be unsettling right now He *is* teaching me about love. HIS love. My love fails, my love puts undue pressure into things, my love is selfish, HIS love is selfLESS. I want to share that kind of love. And...I don't want to be afraid of love. Yes, love of any sort is messy and unpredictable and can cause a whole lot of chaos but in the end, choosing to love someone, be it a parent, friend, spouse/significant other...or even someone who is your 'mortal enemy' is a very freeing experience. Love, I'm convinced is a choice we have to make every day of our lives. Yes, the fuzzy feelings are there, but love is more than that as I'm sure all of you know. Love is more than saying "I love you" to someone. It's the small things...it's the choices we make every day. Saying the words without that seems hollow to me...but it's exactly what I do. I tell people I love them but I'm afraid I don't have the actions to back that up. I don't have the Love of Christ in me for them. It's a selfish thing.

Jesus, please help me be selfless and no matter what to never stop giving YOUR love to people. God please keep teaching me about love. No matter if it hurts...God I want to learn.